Gentleness in Love

Philemon 8-9 (ESV)
Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, [9]yet for love's sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus.

I believe in this statement all of us can practice more. Paul was writing to Philemon regarding his slave, Onesimus, and asking him to take back his slave (more than likely had stolen from his master and ran away to Rome). Paul had led Onesimus to Christ (Philemon 10) and this slave had become a great servant to him.

Now that we have the background lets concentrate on the attitude presented in the statement in verses 8 and 9. Paul, as a spiritual leader and mentor, had the authority to command Philemon to do what was proper concerning Onesimus. Paul chose instead to appeal to Philemon on Onesimus’ behalf. Instead of forcing Philemon to do something, Paul chose to act in love by instructing Philemon why he should accept Onesimus back.

I find it awesome that Paul did not force a younger Christian to do something, but rather left it up for that Believer to choose to act in a way that proclaimed Christ. As a person who disciples others, I find myself wanting to tell folks what they should do. I am not the Holy Spirit. The best thing I can do is take time and search the scriptures with the person and let them be convicted by the Holy Spirit who will lead them in all truth. Notice also that I said that we need to take time and search the scriptures together – those of us in authority are held responsible, and we don’t want to twist the Bible to enable us to control others to our own will (Romans 15:1). We should desire that those we teach and instruct go to God’s Word and pray for guidance before they even consider coming to us concerning an issue or decision.

God is so patient with us (2 Peter 3:9) – we also should be patient and never use position to force or coerce another into a decision that pleases us.